Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
