What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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