Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
