I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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