i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
