Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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