K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize