Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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