love makes seman taste better
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
is that a dick in a sweater?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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