Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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