I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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