No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
