no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
