Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
