Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
