and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
