There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
