Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
do herpes really smell.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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