I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
