i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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