wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
