I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
