Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
