Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
