are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
