I wanna bring you to show and tell
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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