Me. At least after what I've been through.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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