I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
