it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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