Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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