Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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