drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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