So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
