I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
