i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
As shirtless as possible
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
