Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
