I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
