i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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