Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
