i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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