you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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