dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
