omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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