Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
