Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize