There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
