She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize