This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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