i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
