He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
