Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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