You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
