I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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