apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize