You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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