I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
