There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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