Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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