Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
