I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I touched a dick in church today
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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