is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
