Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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