i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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