I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize