just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
