ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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