careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
