does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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