Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize