That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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