Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
