You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
