Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
