So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
