I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
